before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
its not stalking. its research.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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