whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
