fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
