I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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