how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
