dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hippo gnu deer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
