we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
