so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
