Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
