check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
