You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
