Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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