did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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