Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
