why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
