bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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