my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize