he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
