I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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