I just pynch a tree in the face
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize