marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
My friends, they love my intelligence
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
