Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
