This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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