The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
