the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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