Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
We got so high we made milksteak
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
