Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
