He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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