So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
