He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
