Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
You need Xanax blowdarts
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
