Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
If I die, sorry about rent.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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