A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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