hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
