the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
