So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
