I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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