no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
