I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
