I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
