Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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