do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize