I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
i out mim tonsoeep
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
