It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
