Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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