do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
