You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
