You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
