I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize