are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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