everyone is single if you try hard enough
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i think i just lost a toe
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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