it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
