I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
