The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
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