Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
