Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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