quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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