I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
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