he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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