Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
