Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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