I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
