I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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