Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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