I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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