hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
